Tell Me You Would Miss Me
by JokerSmiles
Summary: Izaya begins to feel like there is no meaning in his life when suddenly Shizuo stops trying to chase him out of Ikebukuro. Now it is like he doesn't even exist in the blonde's eyes.With these thoughts,Izaya begins to think he should end their game Shizaya
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: Another Begining chapter for a durarara story. This idea came to me in the middle of a dream one day so i decided to write a story about it. :) here ya go... Please Review

-JokerSmiles:)

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><p>Chapter One: Who is even worth caring?<p>

Now on my whatever number drink I was on I slowly stumbled off the bar stool onto my feet. After leaving a tip for the bartender I walked toward the exit. With my vision hazy someone grabbed my arm pulling me backwards. I nearly tripped with my uncordinated stance. I cocked my head to the side of me to see a true greaseball sweaty and full of himself. "Hey skinny legs how about you come in the back with me where I can show you a good time."

Ugh, this guy was truly disgusting. "Tempting offer but no thank you." Izaya politely stated as trying to break out of the man's hold, but unfortunatly he didn't agree with Izaya's answer.

"No, cutie. We are going to go have a good time."

I had about enough of this guy, I had places to be. Swiftly I pulled out my knife and held it to him. "Sorry, I am a little too much for you to handle. There is only one person let alone man that can satisfy my needs and you are not him."

Getting away I started to shuffle my way to Ikebukuro. I was tired of living, I was tired of being cast aside with noone who wanted me around. Sure, Shizu-chan hates me, but that is why it was so much fun to keep seeing each other. We were some entertainment for each other in our lives. Sadly though, recently Shizuo has been avoiding me. I was being ignored every time I entered _his_ city. I would taunt him, joke at him, try and annoy him with a variety of things to set him off, but nothing. Nothing triggered his hatred for me, he just continued to walk along the streets as if i was not even in front of him. That is why, I need to get Shizu-chan to kill me. With him out of my life for the past half of a year I realized my life holds no meaning to me. He was the sole reason I stove on in life. Now with me alone, by myself once again, it had to be him and him alone that killed me. Like every one of his threats I used to receive daily, today I planned on making his dream come true, with me gone, forever. Once this deed was done everything would be ok. Shizuo would have his city, me my release of trying to fit in. It would all be...okay.

Finally entering Ikebukuro I noticed all the empty streets and lonely lights that lite up this wonderful city. Slowly dragging my feet, unlike my usual skipping approach, I stepped though the darkness that was Shizuo's territory.

Deciding not to waste time I began to call for my playmate who wondered these very streets. "Shizu-chan." I called. Looking in all different directions I twirled around to check behind me. No one. Fisting my hands in my pockets I again called out. "Shizu-chan! Come out and play!" Nothing. Silence cursed my ears as I called again and again as wondering down the streets of this city. It wasn't much of a city, it wasn't the biggest, nor really much of a small place to live. This city was more to me than a location. It was a place where I felt home, I felt more accepted. My love for humans was a strange obession but it kept me away from the thought that I was indeed a monster inside. Maybe that was why I always annoyed Shizu-chan so much. That I felt we were the same and could embrace the loneliness together while keeping at our distant space away from each other. The hatred that grew from the moment we met, that was the sense of competion I assume. I can never truely recall why the emotion of hate was the first thing I felt for him, but all I did know is that I loved this game we played.

Hearing voices in distant tones brought me out of my thoughts to try and listen, being the informant I am I could never stray away from the chance for a good amount of imformation.

"He is ridiculous! I mean what kind of asshole does that?" One of the male voices whispered.

"Watch what you say man! He could pop up any moment." A more nervous voice stated.

A third voice spoke up with a monotoned stamina. "He is not coming out, if Izaya is not here than he won't be here."

"No I seen him the other day, he looked really pissed about something." Nervously speaking the male added.

"Heh. I don't give a fuck. If that ass wants to take a stroll let him take a walk through this dump. He won't do shit. Didn't you see him the other day with Yakuzawa? He practically brushed off the little prick when he tried to hit him in the head. Shizuo just kept on walking and told him to go bug someone else. If he shows up he won't do jack-"

The voice was cut off? By what? I slightly turn my head around the corner to see Shizu-chan holding the man by his throat. Shizuo just held him still letting his feet dangle above the ground beneath him. With a puff of smoke into the male's face Shizuo's gruff voice spoke. "Better watch your tongue around here, especially with me around."

"You don't have the balls Heiwajima. With that stupid little ass of yours gone you-"

"I said watch your mouth! Don't speak of something you know nothing about." I watch Shizuo throw the man to the ground. "Get the hell out of here before I make you." All three men scrambled themselves together and scurried away from the monster that was Shizuo Heiwajima.

I watch Shizuo puff another smoke from his cigarette as he watched the men take their leave. His face held a certain emotion to it. I almost mistook it as anger, but it appeared to be more of an irritation. What was he so irritated about? I haven't been back to Ikebukuro in months. Deciding that I left in too much of thought with my plan in motion I called for him again, knowing this time he would hear me. "Shizu-chan!" I sing-songed as leaning against the wall of a building. Instantly the blonde turned around to face me at the sound of my voice. His glasses hung on the end of his nose, his fingers clenching in his fist for the fist time to me in months.

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><p>Authors Note: So yeah.. Yadadaadada Please Review :)<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note: So yeah, here it is chapter 2... Please Review :)

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><p>"Izaaayyyyaaaa-kun."<p>

I savored the sound when he said my name. Spoken with that voice I haven't heard in months. I could not even begin to explain how strange it was for me to just look and see that angered flustered look on his face. The emotions he held on said face always drove me wild to be near him always to see that face. "How's it going Shizu-chan?"

"Get the fuck out of Ikebukuro!" I watched his hands tremble at his sides, never had I seen him tremble at this state. This movement was not out of anger, what puzzled me was...what was troubling him-aside from me? Or could the problem be..me?

"Aww Shizu-chan if I leave now we won't have our fun will we?" I brought out my knife for emphaisis on my statement. I watched he gaze falter from me to the ground, another thing I never saw him do. I needed him to pay attention to me. Swiftly I sped towards him and swung my knife at his head leaving a thin cut along his cheek. That must have brought him to a realization of the situation.

Not even bringing a hand to wipe the blood dripping down his face Shizuo came at me. Yes, just what I wanted. At first I dodged his attacks like usual, maybe just to live off the thrill of our chase one last time.  
>His fists stopped as he lifter with ease a traffic sign. I smiled knowing if he hit me with it more than once I would surely die.<p>

"Get that damn smile off your face asshole!" Shizuo swung at me hitting me instantly onto my back knocking the wind of me. I watched the monster guardian of Ikebukuro stand above me with a grin on his face.  
>"Finally caught you, you bastard."<p>

I loved seeing that smile on his face, that sight was so rare for anyone, let alone me, to see. It was a perfect sight to see as I died by his hands. "Yeah, you caught me." I breathed out. "Now do it...Kill me."

At first Shizuo lifted his hand with the sign in the palm right above my head, making me thing this was the end, but it wasn't. With my eyes shut I felt no hit, not a strike at all. I opened my eyes to see Shizuo throw the sign to the corner of the alley we ended up in. This made me nervous, why wasn't he killing me? Nervously I began to speak trying to keep my usual sacastic attitude in my voice.  
>"What's the matter Shizu-chan? Can't kill me? Isn't this what you wanted?"<p>

He remained silent.

"Come on! Kill Me!" I began to shout getting hysterical. I leaned up grabbing his shirt trying to pull him down. "Kill Me!" I nearly begged, I was losing myself bit by bit to my own madness. I took my knife and placed it in his hands and guided his hand to my thoat. I pulled and pulled to try and drag it across but his strength surpassed my own making it stay in place. "Come on kill me." Angry at this action I pried my blade from his grip and brought it two my wrists. "Fine I will do it myself!" I dragged it violently across my wrists instantly blood began to build up over my pale skin. A pair of hands wrapped themselves around my cuts after throwing my knife away from my grasp.

"Stop that!" Shizuo yelled at me.

"Why?" I tried to pull my hands from his tight grasp. "Let go _Shizuo_!"

"Izaya?" Shizuo asked in a light worried voice.

"Let go!" I yelled again, pulling at my injured wrists trapped in his hands.

"Izaya!" Shizuo yelled louder at me.

"What?"

"Don't do this."

"Seriously? You of all people telling me not to die? I expected better of you Shizuo! I want this to end! I have nothing here! The only thing I had to live for was making your life miserable but even now you ignore me. You, the person I thought would understand what it is like to be an outcast in this city could feel my pain and kill me! Well, I guess you are as weak as the rest of these humans."

"You love humans."

"They don't love me. I tried but I can't win the effection of even one of them."

"You don't need humans." Shizuo muttered, but I caught it.

"What?"

"You don't need their effection. As long as you are your stupid, cocky, sacastic, and the stupid flea self that I chase out of _our_ city."

"Our?"

"Yeah, _our_."

"What are you saying? And how come you have been avoiding me?" I nearly screamed. I my eyes were begining to brim with tears. No-I can't cry like this in front of him. He can never know.

"I just, I couldn't-I can't really explain it. I just couldn't find myself able to try and hurt you anymore. The feelings in me burn with a fire like hatred, but sometimes it will be a more electric feeling.  
>When it is like that...I just can't cause you any harm. I-no...nevermind."<p>

Maybe it was his facial expression, maybe it was the loss of blood, maybe even my own emotions coming out, but what happened I never expected myself to say to him of all people.

"I love you _Shizuo_."

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><p><strong>Authors Note:<strong>

Yeah, I am going to be finishing this story within the next or next next chapter. I hope everyone likes it so far.

Please Review


	3. Chapter 3

_**Authors Note: I have been writing more stories lately because of A) been really stressed and writing makes me feel better and B) I love to... but i have a little less time to do updates (only for next month or so) I plan on updating stories more frequently but here is the catch. updates will come quicker to the stories with MORE reviews on newest chapter i post. I hate to do it this way but its just easier for me to keep up. (just for next month or so.) so please review and enjoy :)**_

_**-Jokersmiles:)**_

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><p><em>"I love you Shizu-chan."<em>

Shizuo's gaze from me didn't falter, I watched his eyes slightly widen, but only for a mere second before then returned to their unreadable expression. What was he thinking? The main thing about Shizuo that I could never understand...his decision making. He was always so easy to read until it came to his actions. I could never fully predict what he would do...but that was what made him worth messing with.

"Izaya."

Finally he speaks, I was getting worried for a minute. His voice held seriousness, a strict but sincere voice I have never heard from him.

"Yeah?" I couldn't look at him as he held my wrists in his grasp. I couldn't looks at him if he stared at me with those eyes, not when they were looking at me like that. I felt fingers slip under my chin forcing my gaze to his brown eyed stare.

"Look at me...you can't just say something like that and look away from me." I watched his intense eyes stare at me unmoving and unfaultering.

"I-I-" For the first I was at a lost for words. Me, Izaya Orihara, speachless before him.

"This is the first time I ever seen you without a comeback for me. Its too weird." Shizuo laughed. He lowered his face closer to me, with each second I could smell more of him with each inch he got.

"Why have you been avoiding me?"

"You should know that by now." Shizuo said as lifting me up off the ground on to my feet then pulling me into his arms.

"What? Thats not-"

"We are going to the Shinra to get these checked out." Without another word he pulled me down the streets of Ikebukuro to Shinra and Celty's home. We didn't speak, we just walked down the pavement with him pulling me along the path to our destination.

After knocking on the door, Shinra opened to door and looked at us with a surprised expression. "Ah Shizuo, Izaya what are you-Wait did you guys hurt each other again?"

"Not exactly, just take a look at his arms and fix him up." Shizuo pushed me forward to Shinra who immediatly grasped my arms looking at my wrists. He studied them, and lifted a finger who lifted his glasses up slightly while looking at me.

"They're going to need stitches. Come with me." Shinra led me to the back where his medical supplies were. After a few painful minutes of a needle jabbing through my skin my wrists were bound in gauze.

"If they begin to hurt in the night just take some pain medication and it should feel better." Shinra informed me.

"No problem." I replied heading out the door with Shizuo following behind me.

Deciding to break the ice I spoke up. "So, what did you talk with Celty about?"

"We didn't really talk too much, she was just asking me some questions." Shizuo replied as liting a cigarette on the end of his lips. More silence striked my ears. Where were we going I didn't even know anymore, nor did I care. "I avoided you because I was afraid." What?

"Afraid? Why?"

"I was afraid of what I felt for you. I don't remember when, but I grew afraid of harming you if I saw you. If I saw you I was afraid if I hurt you because I didn't want to harm that make sense? I just...don't want to hurt you anymore." Shizuo pushed me slowly against a wall burying his face in the crook of my neck. His warm breath cascaded across my skin, his breathing grew heavy and slow. "Don't try and kill yourself." He whispered. "I need you alive." With that answer he kissed my neck leaving me in his grasp.

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><p>Authors Note: pretty much if you haven't read above authors note i would recommend to do so :)<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Authors Note: SO here it is the final chapter. :) hope you enjoy :) ~Please Review :)

-Jokersmiles:)

-might make this chapter longer. (it is the last chapter but i might redo it just to make a bit longer...unsure as of yet.)

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><p>Each kiss, each touch, every breath he gave me made my heart beat all the time faster. My heartbeat was becoming so strong I felt as if it was going to burst out of my chest. His large hands were climbing their way up my sides groping my skin. Shizuo's kisses were leaving a fiery trail up my neck making me gasp. I was growing harder by the minute. I knew he was as well considering I felt him brush his own against mine.<p>

"So how do you want it? In a nice setting with a bed and candles or do you want me to take you right here against the wall?" Shizuo whispered. "No, I changed my mind…I don't want anyone else to see you the way only I can."

Flipping me onto his shoulders Shizuo carried me to his apartment, kicking open the front door he tossed me onto his bed. Striping himself of his own shirt and tie he began to remove me of my own upper garments. After we were both shirtless he kissed my forehead as he began to unbuckle and remove my pants. Once they were gone from clinging to my skin he ran his hands up my thighs.

"Ever done this before?" Shizuo asked me with a smile as he warmed his hands on my body.

Looking up at him I told him the truth, "Not technically…" I smiled back at him with my mischievous smile.

"You know you are too cute for your own good." Ah! Shit he was distracting me. I felt a single finger enter inside me.

"You-ah-did that on-purpose…" I gasped as another finger slide inside. Thrusting in and out he made me writhe beneath him. "Ah! Shizu-chan." After lubing me up enough for his liking he slowly entered me. I couldn't stop myself from gasping an inaudiable moan from being stretch so much so deep inside me. He stayed there for a minute, just sitting inside me. He interlaced our fingers together as he leaned to my lips. Gently his lips met mine in a soft brush against each other. Slowly he pulled out almost all the way and pushed back inside filling me to the brim hitting a bundle of nerves inside me making me break away from the kiss. This was better than I could have thought would happen. It was strange to think hours ago I wanted my life to end, to be killed by this very beast thrusting quick into me. Though now I couldn't see life any different than this moment. I wanted this, needed it, he was the only one who could give it to me.

I was getting close. "Shizu-o…I-" I couldn't even finish I was out of words. My breath was near gone, I was craving more air then there was in my lungs.

"Me too. Come on Izaya…" Shizuo grunted as he pushed harder into me with his monstrous strength at a faster pace.

Suddenly I seen nothing but white in my vision. "SHIZU-OH!AH!" My back arched off the bed into Shizuo's sweaty chest . After feeling him pull out I fell back into the sheets I leaned on my side and breathed rapidly trying to catch my breath. Shizuo wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my back between my shoulder blades.

With himself breathing in all the oxygen the earth could give as well he said, "I need you Izaya, I could never survive without you in my life. I would miss you if you were gone. Never would I be able to walk the streets of Ikebukuro again where all of our memories are. I love you Izaya."

Turning my head to face him I made his lips meet my own in a kiss. " I Love you too protozoan."

Both of us fell asleep just like that, in each other's arms, never wanting either of us to leave the other. Why? Because without our other half, we would be nothing but a missing board piece in the game of our city.


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